When you’re socially anxious, you get the feeling of not being enough and your confidence immediately drops. You’re not comfortable in any social situation and want to escape almost any conversation. Social anxiety turns you into an introvert; you don’t want to hang out with anyone but yourself, you don’t want to start any talk, you don’t want to be around people. All you want is to be left alone.
Social anxiety has become more and more common nowadays for numerous reasons. First, we have the constant need for approval that society craves for. Second, there’s the parenting factor that could trigger this anxiety. Bullying can also be a typical cause and lately, social media shows a positive correlation with social anxiety disorder.
Let’s take these factors step by step and see how each one of them could affect our perception and therefore, behavior.
The need for approval
When you’re seeking to prove to others that you’re right, you are seeking attention. More than that, you’re seeking approval from an external source. The deeply rooted, subconscious fear that triggers this reaction is the fear of missing out or not being accepted. “This might come from unresolved childhood trauma or other experiences that taught you that you’re not good enough.” – says John Frost, psychologist at Bestessaytips.com and Dissertation-Service.org, the best assignment writing service.
For example, when a parent criticizes your behavior since childhood, you end up trusting yourself less. As you grow up, your mind will start telling you ‘you should’ve done better’ in any situation. Your mind is trying to re-create the environment you grew up in because your mind wants comfort.
If you believe your mind, you’ll end up saying, ‘yes, I should’ve done better’ and end up judging yourself anywhere you go. Your belief that ‘you’re not good enough’ will follow you in social contexts. The solution is to change your beliefs to change your perspective and finally, change your behavior.
As I mentioned before, parenting styles play an important role in kids’ education. That being said, they have the power to trigger socially anxious behavior in children. To understand how your parents affected your behavior, you must remember the experiences you’ve been through. Has your parent always been affectionate towards you? If not, this could definitely be a trigger for social anxiety. Has your parent trusted you enough in your childhood years? If not, they could’ve triggered social anxiety. Take a moment to analyze the interaction with your parents; start from there.
Bullying is another reason kids become socially anxious. Imagine dealing with a constant threat. Sooner or later, you’ll either feel depressed and unwilling to continue your daily activities, or you’ll want to impress out of fear of being hurt. Studies have shown that kids who’ve been bullied in their childhood or adolescent years are more predisposed to social anxiety. That’s because their confidence and self-worth stem from negative interactions with kids their age. They don’t feel safe, they don’t feel accepted, so they cannot feel confident.
“The solution is to go back to those years and see what triggered your response. If it’s bullying, start asking questions. What do you remember, what hurt the most? Make sure you’ve got someone close you can talk to about this. Feeling safe is an absolute requirement.” says John Frost, psychologist at Bestessay.com, the best paper writing service.
Another trigger could be social media. While it has its benefits, social media can be quite harmful to kids and adolescents, or even adults. That’s because it promotes a reward system that encourages bullying and discourages truthfulness.
When scrolling on social media, you get the impression that everyone is living their best life when in reality, that is obviously not the case. Nobody posts about their bad days. This wrongful impression can trigger a feeling of unworthiness in social media users. ‘I cannot feel this perfectly ergo I am not worthy of these experiences’ or the other way around. This triggers social anxiety in return.